For those of you keeping score, I finally quit my job today. As i have been waiting anxiously for this day for the past few weeks it dawned on me – post resignation- how odd the resignation process is.
It could be the kind of person I am or it could be the nature of the business but I was nervous and stressed about telling my (previous) place of employment of my desire to leave them. I kept imagining this scene where i would walk into my boss’s office with a false bravado and declare my resignation in which he would respond with a glare pick up his stapler and throw it at me whilst erupting into rage startling the whole office. As much as I knew this was unlikely to happen I still couldnt help but think it was a definate possibility.
My fear of this scene becoming a reality took control and waited to resign until my boss was out of the country – far away. Thus i could resign through email and no face-to-face confrontation. Call me weak, scared, gutless or all of the above but the anxiety caused from thinking about quitting was too much to bear. Why so anxious?
I dont owe these people anything. Sure i made a commitment, and yes i have not been here a very long time but in reality i took the job in good faith and ultimately it didnt fulfill my expectations (hence the creation of Mutual Procrastination) so why shouldn’t i resign? – i know your all thinking i am trying to justify my actions to avoid any feelings of guilt – which is slightly what i am doing (hehe) but really i am trying to understand why resigning strikes fear into the heart of so many.
It is a nerve-racking experience with a million ways of going about it. I could have stormed in here and announced to the whole office that i think this job is boring and awful and i quit effective immediately whilst going to my desk and clearing it (meaning taking to packet of nuts out of my top drawer) and slam the door behind me whilst screaming obscenities, now that would be an awesome way to resign 🙂 however i chose to tread a less dramatic path. I came into work sat down at my desk and proceeded to do my morning duties (check facebook, check hotmail, then check my uni website). After this i strolled into the head of HR’s office and said i have decided to quit. Insert awkward silence here. She then asked why and i a made a reasonable excuse and she said fine, and she was sorry to hear it. I gave her the official letter and that was the end of it.
Hmmm… was it worth all the stress? Apparently not! What a disappointment and i was prepared for blood sweat and tears. Oh well guess we can’t have everything hehe.
Anyway the point of this rant is to say from now on i am going to consciously try to be more confident and learn to say No to people without justifying why it is i say no. It is also to announce my new found sense of absolute freedom (4 weeks from now – damn notice!) and how happy that makes me! Dont ever let the man get you down…