I’ve had a few awkward moments recently with one of my close friends and his girlfriend. I’ve known this friend of mine since childhood, but he has only recently hooked up with this current girlfriend of his. We’ve had quite a few nights out together now, and I’m slowly getting to know her. She’s an incredibly lovely girl, and her and my friend are so perfect for each other. They’ve got a lovely and really close relationship, and I’m so happy for the both of them. Let’s just call my friend Brian, and his girlfriend Tamika.
Originally Tamika and I were making a Fair effort to get to know each other and to get along, as Brian and I have been close friends for quite some time now. This wasn’t hard, as Tamika is a really lovely girl, like I said before. However, Tamika’s compliments towards me have started becoming almost a little too frequent and personal, to the point that Brian has been commenting. Now when Tamika says things to me like “mmm you smell nice”, I feel really awkward and don’t know how to respond. I often just don’t say anything, not wanting to sound rude, but also not wanting to sound like I’m flirting with her. There’s usually a little awkward silence, but now Brian usually says something to her like “you’re meant to say that to ME”, or “I donno about this..”. We’ve also been saying flirtacious things to each other in French, just for the sake of speaking French, but this too has aroused Brian’s attention. There were also a few moments the other nnight when a song would come on that both Tamika and I loved, and we would start singing together, and Brian I think felt a bit left out.
It’s awkward because on one hand I want to get close to Tamika as she’s my good friend’s girlfriend, and I want us to all get along and be able to have fun together. At the same time I don’t want to cross the line or make Brian worried, anxious, awkward or angry. There’s toatally nothing actually going on between Tamika and I. I’m just naturally a flirtacious person, with all my friends. It’s just how I interact and joke with people. I find it’s a good way to break any ice. I have absolutely no feelings for Tamika beyond that of friendship. And even this is only because she’s my friend’s girlfriend. I’m sure she feels the same way about me. Brian and her are so obviously in love and right for each other, and I would never do anything to jeopardize that anyway. So I don’t know whether I should be a bit colder towards her so we hopefully don’t have any more of these awkward moments, or whether I’m just being stupid, and I should just continue to be my usual flirtacious self around her, and take any concerned comments by Brian or her as jokes, and respond to them as such.
I would appreciate any comments, thoughts or advice from my colleague Dr Lee docter of sex love and relationships, or anyone else. Cheers!